I am one of those scared cats who hide their tail and run away when they see a dog. Every time my friends and family drags me to the fairground I always stand on the side line holding bags and taking photos pretending I am having the best time of my life, while honestly all I want to do is to go to the aquarium looking at all the amazing animals and pretend I am snorkelling in a tropical place like Gili. Let’s face it I was born this way and deep inside I know it’s never going to change.
This is why I become my own enemy. Ever since I was a kid I have been addicted to see the world. My mum took me to holidays even before I could walk and showed me the world before I knew how to say hello in my own language. But opening my eyes so small made me want to see it all. I have been to at least one country almost every year of my life, which is coming up to almost 22 years now. Sometimes by car other times by plane. And this is where I become my own enemy, because if I had to choose one thing in this world I am actually really scared off it is heights. And jumping on a plane freaks me out every time, which doesn’t really go along with being a travel addict…
Feeling sick and just want to run away
Every time I have been searching for a new country to go to, spending hours dreaming about how it’s going to be. I can almost feel the sickness crawling up to me from the ground when I see the “Payment succeed” popping up on my screen and the flight ticket has been send to my e-mail. Deep in me I am so excited to go to this new country and taste their food, smell the whole atmosphere and see it with my own eyes. But the whole excitement can easily get a big Knock out straight in the face by my fear for the flight.
I still remember my first time flying. It was with my family when I was 10 years old and we were on our way to Egypt having an amazing holiday. Our airport was an hour drive away, so we had to get up early and about. On the way to the airport my mum had to stop 3 times because nervous as I was I had to throw up and even when we were in the airport waiting for the plain I had to visit the toilet at least two more times. And still that day today I get nervous, luckily for me though I have learned to control my fear a bit, so that I can keep everything I have inside me, inside me. But every time I face the plain I just want to run away.
What to do?
Even though I get so nervous flying, it never stop my love for travelling. I have never stopped myself for going anywhere because of the fear for flying because I love going to new places so much. Travel is a passion for me and when you love something so much you will do everything to complete it. But I do admit I have a good routine and a long process trying to calm myself down before I land in that new country.
I keep saying to myself that I am silly and stupid for freaking out so much, and always remind myself that there are 100 of other people flying every day with the plain. Sometimes I even make myself feel a bit stupid looking up the hallway of the plain seeing a 5 year old kid having the time of his life while I am sitting pushed down as deep as I can go in the seat almost breaking the armrests with my so tense hands. It is all about controlling your breath and being able to calm yourself. If you have a fear for flying just remind yourself that it is so normal and that millions of people are flying every day. The fear is probably facing down to that fear of what can happens when you are flying. But then I always remind myself that everything can happens no matter what you do, and nothing is going to stop you for living your life.